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Archive for the ‘Personal Development’ Category

I read this on Oprah.com and will like to share it with you.

Eckhart Tolle: When You Don’t Know What to Do

As told to Leigh Newman
Oprah.com | July 24, 2012

The writer of The Power of Now explores how to arrive at new kind of clarity when we’re standing at one of life’s crossroads.


One scenario: Due to budget cuts, you may—or may not—be losing your job, and you’re not sure if you should take the much-lower-paying job at another company or just stay where you are in case things work out. Another: With the birth of your new baby, you need to move, and you can’t make up your mind between the neighborhood with the good public school and the one where the houses are actually in your budget. Yet another: After seven years together, your marriage has turned into a relentless series of bitter arguments, but you’re not certain if you should try to reconcile or finally end the relationship.

All of us have had these kinds of experiences—times when we have to decide something and we just don’t know what to do.

The first step is usually to collect information. You have to look at the facts of the situation: What’s for and what’s against. But even then, you still may not be able to come to a conclusion. For example, if you’re choosing between two three-bedroom houses, and they’re just about the same price, and they’re in just the same kind of neighborhood, you’re not going to get very far. Pros and cons are one level of decision-making but not the most vital one.

When we can’t make up our minds, it’s because of our minds, or what I call “the voice in your head.” Many people don’t even know they have this voice. But it’s talking away, creating a never-ending inner monologue. Sometimes the voice is even engaged in a dialogue, because it splits into two and you start talk to yourself. The chatter is so incessant it’s like having a continuous humming sound from a refrigerator or an air conditioner in the room with you and after a while, you don’t hear it anymore.

During tough choices, this voice isn’t very helpful. Often it criticizes, keeping a running commentary about you and all the things you did wrong or you just didn’t do. It criticizes others as well. It’s like living with somebody who can’t stand you, much less anybody else. You wouldn’t want to live with a person like that. You would walk out of the relationship. But since you can’t get free of your mind, you’re stuck. The result? You get discouraged. You can’t see the positive side to what might come from your decisions.

The voice in your head also creates a huge amount of problems that aren’t really problems. They’re just things that haven’t happened yet, things that could happen tomorrow or next week. Listening to unreal problems has another name: worrying. That’s what the voice in your head does. It what-ifs. It frets. It agonizes, and you can no longer sense the joy of life.

 

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Rules of Life

Rules of Life

An extract from a book by Cherie Carter-Scott’s book ‘If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules’.

 

Rule One – You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.

Rule Two – You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.

Rule Three – There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement – of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine – it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour – especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps – are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four – The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons – they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance – ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required – change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five – Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change – be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six – “There” is no better than “here”. The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven – Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight – What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things – bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us – use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine – Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten – You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities – our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence.

The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise – wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

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